Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I have been working on a backgammon game the last couple of weeks; finally, I have a playable version. I will consider this the beta version. I don't know of any errors; however, the AI is not very great. You can play it here. Before you play, know that the set of die on the right is the set that you just rolled. Second, click on the point that you want to move from to make a move. Last, make sure that you have Javascript enabled on your browser. I am going to continue working on it to make a few improvements. Namely, I am going to highlight the previous move and improve the AI opponent's evaluation function. I hope you enjoy it. If you have suggestions for improvement, please leave a comment underneath this post.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Troll Hall of Fame

I like to read threads posted in the message forum of LetsRun . I think 70 percent of the reason that I enjoy visiting this forum is because of the trolls. However, the performance of the trolls seems to have really declined since I first began reading threads posted at LetsRun. THEN, I visited today, and I saw this thread. This thread is a troll gold. Trollie McSockpuppet performed exquisitely in his trolling efforts. I believe that Trollie McSockpuppet should be a troll model for all trolls in their efforts to take trolling to a level of creativity and hilarity that has yet to be seen by the Internet. The troll even announced in their handle that they were a troll; yet, they were still able to spark such great reactions. That my friends is a sign of trolling well done. Thus, it is with great pleasure that I induct Trollie McSockpuppet into my Troll Hall of Fame.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


(photo evidence of epic achievement)

I don't know who invented the acronym DIFTS ; I only know who I heard say it first. I have a friend who would always say DIFTS (I won't name his name for privacy purposes; but, it ends with McGee). He said it stands for Do It for The Story . Well, today I did it for the story. "I did What?" you might ask. I COMPLETED THE JANEY THOMSON MARATHON !! a.k.a the most epic game you will ever play. I had seen enough after about 12 seconds. I was going to quit after I saw how fast I could run the first mile. Then, DIFTS popped into my head. I thought I haaaaaaaaave to finish this just for the story. I defeated all odds. In the end, I overcame boredom, near phalangeal stress fractures, the metaphorical wall of pain and the beginnings of carpal tunnel syndrome for nothing else but THE STORY.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Video Game Glitches

I haven't played video games very much recently; however, I can remember back in the day I used to love the glitches that were in video games. These are my favorite three of all time.

1. Epileptic Goalie- Sega Genesis used to have this hockey game. I believe it was called NHL 95. Regardless, there was a glitch in the game. Every so often, one of the goalkeepers would begin an epileptic fit for several seconds. The keeper would begin swinging their stick up and down frantically, and it would leave the goal wide open.

2. Docked Ship- I have this PlayStation game (the original PS), and it is called Battleships. There is a glitch in the game, and you can run the edge of your cruiser onto the land. Then, when a person tries to shoot at you, you can just swing the rest of your ship onto the land to prevent from being hit. This was worth a lot of fun at my father's expense.

3. NFL 2k- I can't remember which game it was; maybe, it was the whole series. There was a glitch in at least one of these Dreamcast games where you could just press y after a play to run the hurry up. After you hit y; then, you continually press a. This leads to the defense being caught offsides because they can't make it back to their side of the line of scrimmage. Repeat this several times, and you are in the opponents red zone.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Top Three Ways I Deter Telemarketers

3. Hang up. This isn't very creative, and sometimes they call back. However, you can always hang up again. This strategy works best if there is a second or two of silence when you answer the phone.

2. Tell them the person that they are looking for is not home.
Best Case:
ME: "Hello"
THEM: "Hello, is Mrs. MyLastName there?"
ME: "No she isn't, may I take a message."
THEM: "No thanks, I'll just call back."

Average Case:
ME: "Hello"
THEM: "Hello, is Mrs. MyLastName there?"
ME: "No she isn't, may I take a message."
THEM: "Well, is Mr. MyLastName there?" (This could be me, but I don't own the home)
ME: "No he isn't."
THEM: "Ok I'll try again at another time."

Worst Case
ME: "Hello"
THEM: "Hello, you won something blah blah blah. I just need to confirm that you are the home owner. You are the home owner right?"
ME: "No."
THEM: "Do you mortgage?"
ME: "No."
THEM: "Do you rent."
ME: "No."
THEM: (silence) click

2. Tell them that the person they are looking for is in the bathroom shoving torpedoes up their butt.

Prior to a phone call, Mr. MyLastName tells me that he has to take anal suppositories (medicine shaped like little torpedoes) for his hemorrhoids (lumps on his ass). Then, the phone rings while he is in the bathroom

THEM: "Hello, may I speak to Mr. MyLastName?"
4YR. OLD ME: "No, he's in the bathroom shoving torpedoes up his ass." Then, I hang up.
Mr. MyLastName: "Who was that?"
4YR. OLD ME: "I don't know I told them you couldn't come to the phone because you were in the bathroom shoving torpedoes up your ass.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Adventure to Aunt Sarah's Pancake House

About four years ago, I went to this track meet down in Richmond, VA. Upon arrival, we did the usual pre-meet stuff at the track; then, we headed to our hotel. After cleaning up pretty quick, everybody was starving for dinner. Naturally, being the pancake lover that I am, I was interested in going to Aunt Sarah's Pancake House as soon as I saw it. Plus, pancakes are high in carbohydrates so there is good reason for me to eat them the day before the race. So, me and four other guys head over to this place to eat, and it was one of the craziest eating experiences of my life. Upon entering, this dude Arnold says he'll be our waiter for tonight. AT LEAST... Arnold was a character. He takes us to our seats, and we are seated in this section that smells like Halloween candy. Then, he asks if he can get us some drinks. He looks to me, and asks what he can get for me.

ME: "Ummmmm" (looking at the menu).
ARNOLD: "We don't serve um!!!"
ME: (I chuckle a little) "Uhhhhhh" (still trying to decide on a drink).
ARNOLD: "We don't serve uh either!!!"
ME: (I laugh but I am slightly frustrated now) "I'll take a Hawaiian Punch."
ARNOLD: (Winding up like the Hawaiian Punch mascot) Hawaiiannnnn PUNCH!!!!

At this point, I was just thinking this guy is out of control. So, we sit there and laugh about how crazy this guy is while we wait for our drinks. Then, he comes back with our drinks and tells us about this special. He says that they have all you can eat pancakes, chicken, and fried fish along with three side dishes of your choice. All of this was for some real cheap price; I think the whole meal was under ten dollars. So we all take the special and pick our side dishes. We tried to tell him that we just wanted the pancakes, but he refused to just bring pancakes. Every time, he came out with plates of chicken, fish, and pancakes along with more side dishes. He, didn't care if we didn't eat the chicken and fish; He just insisted that he would bring it. Also, he always gave our token black friend in the group more chicken each time. We thought that it was his last day of work, and that he just created this special to screw his employers out of as much money as possible.

Finally, we ask for a check. He brings us the check, and before he leaves us to look it over he gives us a puzzle. He says that he tells everybody this puzzle, and only two people have solved it. One was a seven year old, and the other had a PhD. The puzzle was as follows; you have three houses, and each needs gas, electric, and water. Draw a gas line, an electric line, and a water line to each house without crossing the lines.

We begin trying to solve the puzzle. We think we have a couple of solutions, but he points out violations of the rules. Eventually, we give up and pay our bills. I was stuffed, and I had a sugar rush from all of the syrup that I used. More importantly, I still remember about this crazy man Arnold and laugh about the whole ordeal four years later. I think that I have solved the puzzle, but I have not been down to that restaurant again to ask. My solution would be to run three parallel lines through all of the houses (I can't remember if this is allowed, but it probably isn't allowed since it is a logical solution). Arnold didn't seem like the type of guy that would give out a puzzle with a logical solution.